The Chemistry of Love

Today is day 3 of my blog tour. I’m stopping by All the Ups and Downs to share my thoughts on the qualities I find most attractive in a significant other. And learn more about my heroine, Veronica, from my guest post at Viviana MacKade.

I was thinking about the qualities I find most attractive in a significant other, and it’s funny because if you’d have asked me that when I was entering the dating scene, my answer probably wouldn’t have changed much. As a forty-something wife and mom, I have a different perspective on relationships, but I think the core tenants of what makes relationships work are the same. Here are the qualities that top my list:

Loyalty

Knowing someone will always stand by you is a powerful thing. When he’s with you, he’s with you 100%. You know you can rely on him for the small things, and more importantly, the big. While you have different interests, he’s willing to spend time doing what’s meaningful to you, and vice versa. He’s kind to the people in your life who are important to you and goes out of his way to establish a good relationship with them. He’s supportive of your feelings, hopes, and dreams, and you know he’ll always have your back, and you, his.

Honesty

Being open and honest is critical to the success of any relationship. This is the foundation for building trust, which I think is one of the key building blocks for a future. Because once it’s broken, it can never truly be repaired. Part of being honest is being true to yourself. And by that I mean not being afraid to show someone who you really are, and not who you think they want you to be.

Drive

I like guys who are passionate about what they do. There’s an energy they have—a competitive spirit that drives them toward attaining their goal. They aren’t the type to sit back idly, but rather, go out and make things happen. You feel safe in their presence because you know they can handle whatever challenge is thrown their way. There’s something sexy about a man who takes charge of a situation, but it needs to be balanced with a sense of compassion and not doing it at the expense of others. 

Presence

What I mean by this is having your significant other be in the moment. He listens to you and is attentive to your needs. He makes time for you, your kids/pets/friends, and your relationship. He’s OK with an occasional night in (or in the current climate every night in). After all, aren’t you more important than that text message or whatever is on his screen? Bottom line is he makes you feel important and that you’re a priority.

Chemistry

Last but certainly not least, there needs to be that spark. It’s funny because the idea of chemistry is rooted in science, but there’s no formula that can explain this one. That indescribable feeling you have that draws you to someone else. It’s based on a mutual attraction, but it goes deeper than that. You could be in a room full of people, but you only see him. You think about him all the time and find that you’re happier, smiling for no particular reason. When you’re together, there’s an electricity that causes your heart to beat faster and your breath to quicken even though you want time to stand still. Even the smallest touch is nothing short of electrifying.

There are many more qualities that didn’t make the list. But at the end of the day, it’s about finding someone who you can be your truest self with, who loves you as you are and will always stand by you, and who builds you up so you are at your strongest. And ultimately, you are you at your strongest, together.

Stop 2: Viviana MacKade

Topic:  Can you tell us more about this heroine? What are her strong points? Weaknesses?

Veronica Clayton grew up in a political family. As the daughter of a senator, she’s always been conscious about how her actions affect her family. Since a young age, her life has revolved around putting her father’s needs first. She could never make a decision without thinking about how it would appear to others. How it would impact him or his campaign. She perfected the art of small talk, being gracious, polite and poised. She knows how to evade a question she doesn’t want to answer, not to let her emotions reveal her true feelings, and to put aside her desires. Because the one time she pushed the boundaries it backfired, badly, and almost cost her family everything.

Veronica is smart, driven, charitable and loyal. She has a career as the lead strategist at a think tank called Spark and is known as a fixer of sorts. While her professional life is on track, the same isn’t true of her personal one. She lets few people in. She doesn’t date much. She hides—from herself and others. She doesn’t let anyone get to know the real Veronica—she’s not even certain who that is anymore. At twenty-nine years old, she’s never made a decision for herself. And she was OK with that. Until he came along.

Rob Ashford is the one man who challenges her. Who stirs up memories of the adventurous girl she used to be who yearned for more. When he proposes an unusual arrangement, she balks. But as he pursues her, she realizes her weakness is also why she’ll go through with his offer: she’s not strong enough to say no.

As they dive deeper into their relationship, Rob awakens parts of Veronica she had long since buried. He makes her realize her past doesn’t have to define her. As she comes into her own, Veronica senses Rob is pulling away. That he has secrets of his own. The more Veronica tries to get Rob to open up, she realizes he is hiding too. She hopes that together, they can set themselves free.

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