I’m My Own Worst Enemy

standinginyourway

Thanksgiving is coming at an interesting juncture for me. I know I have so much to be thankful for, but there’s this black cloud that’s been hanging over my head. And I’m finding it hard to pull myself out of this rut. My second novel launched in September, and going in I thought it would be easier this time around. I had a built in fan base, lessons learned, and in my opinion a more interesting premise. I love my first book and it will always hold a special place in my heart. But my newest project, I Should Have Said Yes, is fun. Who wouldn’t want to read about hilarious dating debacles, right? I must admit: so far it’s been a total bust. It’s not so much that people hate it, it’s just that they aren’t reading it. I will also admit this is the part that I hate the most. I’m a writer, not a publicist. Having to go out and “sell” is not something that comes naturally. But I’m trying. And it’s hard because the tactics I’m using seem to be reaching a big audience, but when it comes to converting potential readers I’m falling flat. So I’ve been doing a lot of research. I just bought a book about how to market yourself and your book, hoping it will teach me a thing or two. But it’s very discouraging. Throughout my research one piece of advice that consistently comes up is to keep writing. I haven’t been doing the best job of that.

It’s hard to be motivated to write when you feel like no one wants to hear your message.

I know I should be posting more frequently on this blog. But sometimes I question why people would want to hear from me. I’m not a celebrity or expert in any particular area or craft. I’m just a regular person. Why would anyone care about what I have to say? And for that reason I don’t post as much as I should, be it on my blog, personal Facebook page, you name it. I’ve come to realize this self-doubt is my enemy. We each have a voice and I’m fortunate that I have an outlet to express mine. You’ve all chosen to follow me, for which I’m extremely grateful. So even if I’m sharing tidbits about my day or experiences, I try to pick topics that people will relate to and maybe even learn from. I know I like hearing from everyday people because they are relatable. And it’s funny because that’s the inspiration for my plots and characters. I like to write about people who others can identify with as opposed to totally unreachable or unrealistic heroines or love interests. Yes, I’d love to meet a wealthy CEO and have him fall head over heels for me, but let’s just say I can’t ever see that happening. And not just because I’m already taken. 🙂

So I’m glad there is a holiday around the corner about counting our blessings. A day to ground me and remind me of the important things. Not that my book isn’t important. It is extremely important. To me. But that’s just it. When I look at the big picture and things going on in our world, it puts things in perspective. I have my health, two beautiful and happy children, a fantastic husband, wonderful friends, and I’m living my dream. Whether or not it will be successful is another story. But my family is the only riches I’ll ever need.

I have a blog tour coming up in December where I’ll be doing a lot of guest posts and interviews. My mind is already racing at the possibilities of what to write about. I’m looking forward to getting back into a groove. My journey isn’t over yet. I’d like to think it’s just beginning.

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