Today the inevitable happened: I turned a year older. I wrote the below post three years ago and wanted to republish an edited version in honor of the big day. Because the number that I’ve feared has finally arrived. My daughter wanted to know if I was excited to celebrate. “Yes,” I lied. The fact is, I hate my birthday. That wasn’t always the case, but after I turned 21 I decided that it was all downhill. And while a girl never tells her age, the fact is I am now considered over-the-hill. It brings back memories of one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally.
Sally: And I’m gonna be forty.
My someday is here. I started thinking about my life and if it’s everything I thought it would be by the time I turned forty. Of course it’s not, but life never takes you on a straight path. It’s been a journey filled with ups and downs, moments of pure joy and terror. But I wouldn’t trade any of them because they’ve shaped me into the person I am today. In my previous post I wrote about how I began to feel depressed leading up to the big day because my life is so average. To be honest I’ve always thought on myself as an average person. I don’t mean it in a negative sense, but I’m comfortable in the middle. I’d rather play it safe and therefore that’s the course I’ve traveled. And I’m OK with that. With each passing year comes greater acceptance of who I am and where I want to go. You could say I’m very comfortable in my own skin (now slightly more wrinkled).
In my last post I lamented about the things I longed for as I approached the big 4-0. A fabulous vacation. A newly remodeled home. A published book. And the list goes on. I took the kids to Disney World last year. Not the fabulous tropical destination I had in mind, but fabulous family bonding none-the-less. Still haven’t remodeled my home. I do have a published book with a second soon on the way. It didn’t happen the way I had envisioned, but I can say I wrote a book. And I see that as a big accomplishment. I have an amazing family, support network, and lots of close friends, some who I’ve known since childhood. My kids are happy and well-adjusted. We all have our health, which is not something I take for granted. I guess you could say my list of what success looks like has evolved. With age I’ve come to realize that these things are what’s most important to me. So if I continue to have all of that I will be fulfilled. And perhaps not so average after all.
I closed my last birthday post by saying I hoped to be able to splurge someday. Perhaps on a fabulous vacation for my 40th. I’m happy to say that my friends and I are planning a trip to Vegas in October. Check that one off the list. And I still have plenty of time for all of the other things that I want to accomplish. They say age is just a number. I don’t know who “they” are but I imagine it’s someone younger. In the few hours since I’ve come of age, I’d say the best thing about turning forty is that it’s all downhill from here on out, which is a lot less of an uphill climb.